“I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism.”

Monday, March 26, 2012

A new beginning

Old habits die hard. I mean really hard. Also, letting go is one of the most difficult conditions I have ever met in life. But why some of us are like that? Don't we like something different in our lives? Don't we want to see something more than what we already have in our comfort zone? Why don't we trust ourselves that we're going to manage "the different" just fine?
I can't throw away old shoes. Only when my foot got bigger when I was younger and  I let my mum do it with great sorrow in my heart.
I can't throw or give away easily old clothes which I love so much but just won't fit because I got fatter damn it! I punish myself by making me see them every day and maybe then I can make the freaking decision and lose a pound. At the end of the day, it won't work. Perfect.
I can't throw away pretty much anything of my stuff which I don't use anymore, or for some of them, I don't know they exist. Sometimes when I have nothing else to do, I open my drawers and have a what-the-fuck-is-all-this face. I immediately throw away whatever I find useless in there. It's very rejuvenating.
I used to bite my nails from whenever I had them. It was stress related but mostly it was a nasty old habit that I just could not stop. I stopped doing it 7-8 years ago but it lasted a year. I'm very very proud of myself that I haven't bitten them in a year again and this time is for real. I have beautiful hands and I own nail polish! Who would have known that I could do that.
I like food. I love it actually and this has caused me serious problems. It has become a habit for me eventually and it is very very very hard to stop it. Not stop eating but you know stop exaggerating. I do not need sugar in my life except from fruit. No sweets, no ice creams (ok maybe once or twice a month), no cakes or cupcakes! I probably do not need salt either. I do not need fried food or 2-3 slices of bread with my meal. And I need to exercise. I have to do it only a couple of times and then it will become my new habit. Which will be good for once. And since I can't afford the personal training gym, this is the next best thing. The beach is right under my house and that's about it. Just do it. Like Nike.

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