Hitting the gym and hitting the fat on the face!

• Been going to the gym from October 1st.

• Bought a one-year subscription.

• I have been going every day except Sunday, when the gym is closed that is. I mean every single day for at least 2 hours.

• I have been doing cardio classes, step classes, abs and legs classes, strength classes, pilates classes, working out on the elliptical machine, on the stationary bicycle.

• I even used to go on foot since my house is only 15 minutes away, but with slight uphills on the way. I don't anymore, because the weather is not really helping out.
• I put on a spandex zone-like thing around my waist on my workouts for extra sweat.

• I weigh myself every week.

• I measure myself every week.

• I count my daily calories intake.

Sounds like a serious plan, doesn't it? I have really made up my mind this time. I have one year and it's more than enough.

It's been a while...

Well, well, hello there... It's been a while and maybe some more actually..
You see the thing with Greek springs and summers, is that they're just exquisite seasons and last half of the year, right?! Suddenly, the day is longer, the sun is warmer, every plant is blooming, everything around you is green with tinges of red, yellow, white, purple, orange.... And after that, the temperature is rising even more and the one thing you need to do to feel better, is just lie on the beach with some sun screen and a cup of iced coffee maybe or a fruity cocktail and dive into the sea every 20 minutes or so. The feeling is just wonderful. How can anyone resist to that? How could I go home and write on my blog? Screw the blog! I'm sorry dearest blog but the sea is a much better remedy for all worries and pains, physical or mental. And anyone born and living near the sea, would know.
Just imagine these pictures... Feel the warmth of the sun on your face, the smell of nature surrounding you, the smell of life, the sound of summer bugs, the cool breeze of summer around you, the taste of that iced coffee in the morning and the taste of your cocktail in the evening...
I'm sorry but these feelings were just too strong to avoid! You should visit a Greek island and you would immediately understand.
So now that all of that is almost gone, I made time for you blog. I can't say I missed you, but I can't say I didn't. Either way, 6 months later, I'm back.

Public sector in Greece

I could start writing now and end probably in a day or two; this is how chaotic public sector in Greece is. If somebody wants a piece of paper he has to run up and down to different departments for even a couple of hours or a couple of days maybe. It's a mess. It's the one thing that can ruin my day and make me feel exhausted for 3 days. The type of people you see in the public sector are: old and tired and very very grumpy, young and bored and very very stupid, women wanting to kill themselves right now, bored people, miserable people, ugly people, hairy people, stinky people, uneducated people, rude people, talking-a-cave-language people, don't-give-a-fuck-about-you-waiting-there-until-they-finish-their-cigarette people. Yes smoking is prohibited inside offices. And all that because they actually have to work less than half the days they're supposed to. Fucking backscratchers, fucking retards, you made my country the shit it is today.You and our unethical politicians. Now young people, like me, who are trying to start living their lives, simply can not. Thank you.

A new beginning

Old habits die hard. I mean really hard. Also, letting go is one of the most difficult conditions I have ever met in life. But why some of us are like that? Don't we like something different in our lives? Don't we want to see something more than what we already have in our comfort zone? Why don't we trust ourselves that we're going to manage "the different" just fine?
I can't throw away old shoes. Only when my foot got bigger when I was younger and  I let my mum do it with great sorrow in my heart.
I can't throw or give away easily old clothes which I love so much but just won't fit because I got fatter damn it! I punish myself by making me see them every day and maybe then I can make the freaking decision and lose a pound. At the end of the day, it won't work. Perfect.
I can't throw away pretty much anything of my stuff which I don't use anymore, or for some of them, I don't know they exist. Sometimes when I have nothing else to do, I open my drawers and have a what-the-fuck-is-all-this face. I immediately throw away whatever I find useless in there. It's very rejuvenating.
I used to bite my nails from whenever I had them. It was stress related but mostly it was a nasty old habit that I just could not stop. I stopped doing it 7-8 years ago but it lasted a year. I'm very very proud of myself that I haven't bitten them in a year again and this time is for real. I have beautiful hands and I own nail polish! Who would have known that I could do that.
I like food. I love it actually and this has caused me serious problems. It has become a habit for me eventually and it is very very very hard to stop it. Not stop eating but you know stop exaggerating. I do not need sugar in my life except from fruit. No sweets, no ice creams (ok maybe once or twice a month), no cakes or cupcakes! I probably do not need salt either. I do not need fried food or 2-3 slices of bread with my meal. And I need to exercise. I have to do it only a couple of times and then it will become my new habit. Which will be good for once. And since I can't afford the personal training gym, this is the next best thing. The beach is right under my house and that's about it. Just do it. Like Nike.

My days are gone

My 10 days became 18 and I couldn't be happier about it. I had fun, I went out, I met people, I stayed home with friends, I probably lost one. No regrets though. My only regrets, if I had any, would be about not leaving even later. But it was time. I'm back home, back to reality, everything is in place, my mind is clear and ready for new pink thoughts and I'm feeling energetic. I won't say it a lot cause I might jinx it and we wouldn't want that now, would we? And on top of everything, weather is getting better day by day and if the sun doesn't fix your mood, I don't know what does! Cheerio

10 days of freedom, please. - Coming up.

It is the day after tomorrow that I forsake this city of mine, which nonetheless I love so very much. The only thought crossing my mind, is changing the return ticket. Maybe moving it several days after my 10 days of freedom pass by. After all, I have absolutely nothing to do here and no one is waiting for me impatiently to come back really.
I'm going to Athens for this test I decided to take and I'm guessing that this is a reason I was looking for, so I can take a leave of absence from this house. 10 care free days, with no nagging, no loud talking, no shouting even, no misery, no psychological tension, free to smoke while watching a movie, no criticism. Very important the last one. Instead, I'm having some alone relaxing time, having-fun-with-best-friends time, change of scenery and most importantly, people. How cool is this? Maybe you wouldn't know, but for me it is very very cool and what I really expected a long time ago. So..... hooray!

*The weather is not very helpful but I don't fucking care. I'm traveling even with a tsunami coming my way.

Article thing

You know, I like the article writing so far. It's been only one I know but tomorrow I'm handing in my second one and I'm really excited because even though I know nothing about journalism or even serious writing, I get to learn a lot of stuff. Seems that doing research on the internet and writing about it helps me to remember all of these stuff. It's very interesting and important to me. If I was just reading all this information for me, to get some knowledge and wisdom, I probably would have forgotten half of it in a week. It's kind of inexcusable to myself but I've reached a point in my life where it seems I don't really care about anything, except my future which is very very uncertain at the moment. Therefore, I'm concerned about it, I have trouble concentrating on anything else, trouble on remembering stuff and serious lack of motivation.
So the articles every week give me motivation, knowledge, concentration and in general the whole situation is helpful. And wait for the time that I start getting paid! No I'm not getting paid, I told you we're not New York Times. Maybe sometime, maybe when I become famous...

ACTA

Oh wow it's been a whole week. What is the matter? I do not know.
But I do know that tomorrow, in one of the local newspapers, I'm reading an article written by me! Yeahy... I'm so excited, I think I'm a journalist, already have an audience and writing in New York Times!
Anyway, I wrote about SOPA/PIPA, ACTA and all that stuff that keeps us concerned these days. Well some of the stuff and some of us obviously. But for you who don't know what ACTA is about, please take your time and check it out. It's really really crucial that you are informed about it, as it is a multinational agreement which aims to establish an international legal framework for targeting counterfeit goods, generic medicines and crop seeds and copyright infringement on the Internet. 

More information on http://www.stopacta.info/ and here https://secure.avaaz.org/en/eu_save_the_internet/ is a petition you can sign to stop this new threat. Thanks!

"The day" is getting closer

You know what I'm talking about right....?

Oh yeah.... the day that can make some grown, desperate women cry. It's one day of the 365 of the year, a few hours of unavoidable, annoying jealousy, a bucket of cheesecake ice cream and a couple of chick flicks. Home alone. And what the fuck isn't super cool about ice cream or food and your favorite movies combined???? I know I would have a great time if I was living on my own damn it! But as it seems there are women who would do pretty much a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g so as not to be alone on that particular day. I honestly do not understand why. Is it because their insecurity? Their lack of self-esteem? Being jealous of other women who happen to have someone? That's a shame people. Really. Why would someone fall for the idea of love practically, sold only on V day? When we're in a relationship, aren't we supposed to love each other every fucking day? Wouldn't it be wonderful to show your love, affection, passion for each other every day? Also, men have to remember a lot of dates and to tell you the truth they are not really capable of doing it. There has to be a lot of effort involved. Do we really have to make their lives even more difficult and complicated with V day? They have to remember birthdays, anniversaries, date of the first time you met, the first time you kissed, the first time you did whatever you think it's important. Let's give them a break.
It is nice if you have a relationship and happen to get a little something on the day (please god let it not be anything corny, heart-shaped and red), but not because it's THAT day, you know? After all, I don't understand why women should feel so hopeless; we are the powerful sex. Plus, men have a blast every day they're alone. Proof? Ok:

A big X to all of the bitches

Here is a social phenomenon. You have a so called friend but she's an idiot. But what can you do? You work together. You support through the stupid  problems she has in life, you go to her house to keep her company even though you have better stuff you can do, because she can't go in a lot of places with her young children, you listen every idiotic word comes out of her mouth and bare with every second of nagging when you work, you listen to her money and family problems with her cousin and mother and blah blah blah, she never asks how YOU are doing and what are your stupid problems as every woman has some. Her IQ is like 70.
Suddenly, her cousin gives her work in the cafe-bar she owns, they get along sooooo good, they're best friends all of a sudden, they get involved in a Ponzi scheme, she goes trips to Europe through that with her husband and cousin and a whole bunch of new friends, children left back home with their grandmother, she pretends she doesn't see you when you go for coffee at the cafe she works and she never calls you but just this once to get you, with the help of her bitchy cousin, in the Ponzi scheme and earn money from you, without telling you what this is about, just telling you to come home and drink some coffee. Her IQ dropped from 70 to 50. Hopeless case.
What do you do?

Here's a question (or two) for you

You know we, humans, are so weird creatures. Ever since we developed our brains and learned all about evolution we're having more and more questions that need to be answered or else. Undoubtedly, because of our curiosity, we have become the most intelligent and creative species (on this planet) but still we're making the same stupid, idiotic and moronic one might say, mistakes over and over and over again as centuries go by. From my point of view this doesn't show how intelligent we are, does it now? And this is where feelings come in. Damn you brain!
So my questions are these; how do you feel about having a friend with benefits and what if that friend is your ex? Ta daaaa.... I'm telling you, we might have been happier as apes.

Snowy view

This morning around 8.30. It was snowing until noon =D

Not retarded, just new interface

As the last day has passed, I realize that I was trying to create a page, where I would link another blog I just made. So it would be a page/link/blog. Yeah, well the thing is that I haven't tried the new shiny blogger interface or what's its name. WRONG. Because it seems that with the old dusty one, one could not make a page/link to another blog. Well how the hell would I know that?????? That I MUST try the new, shiny interface?? I asked my friend Bozo (say that out loud) who has already done that, she explained to me as perfect as she could but I could not find that fucking drop-down menu anywhere. Jesus did I feel like a fuckin retard or what. I even saw a video on blogger help or whatever and guess what; our interfaces were not the same at all! But then all of a sudden... a glare. A click. A whistling in the rhythm of Indiana Jones or something that sounds victorious. "TRY THE NEW BLOGGER INTERFACE (you idiotic person, slower than a snail)".......C L I C K (this better be it you giant piece of shit). My life has just got better. Posting from my new interface and everything. I play it cool now that I made it. You should have seen me earlier. Oh by the way CHECK MY NEW PAGE please. Hell, I got through a lot for it! A big thank you to my friend, the Bozo(again say it out loud), for the idea I got from her. Subconsciously. Cheerio.

Blogging experience

Let me tell you what I like the most from my small blog. That it is so cool and I love it!
One of the reasons I started my blog was to see if I can make any money from the ads. Yes, I'm afraid this is true. This is how desperate I am about unemployment. Anyway, I read the ads policy and some of you may already know that you have to gather at least 70 Euros. Then Google sends you the money at the end of the next month and you feel rich. I would have felt rich anyway.
But I forgot a couple of little things such as that I have to make my blog famous (like Facebook famous) in order to have hundreds of followers and maybe then I would have a slight chance of making some money. To make a blog famous..... ahem.... not a clue how to do that and if I had a clue, it would take me months or even years to do so, right? Potential success needs hard work. Indeed. Also, I have so many thoughts in my mind trying to get out of there in the form of reasonable speech (and with a certain speed) or understandable writing that.... oh fuck it, it's a mess in there.
Therefore, after my earnings reached 6 or 7 or 10 Euros (in about a month), I don't really remember, I decided that I probably won't make a fortune out of it, for all the above and apparent reasons. Also, Google disabled my Ad Sense account because of "invalid clicks" which of course means that Google thinks I was stupid enough to click my own ads.
After that I got really bored with the whole ad thing, removed them, made my blog a pretty awesome little thing, I have 6 or 7 followers instead of Euros but it's ok (haha), I'm writing whatever comes to mind, joyful or miserable, getting feedback some times and you know what? I just love it this way. It's like having my own, cheaper, therapist. I'm not sure I could handle all the publicity after all =D
(I will remember all of you when I become famous =P)

Some, almost real, winter time

Oh for the love of god what is it with the cold? Temperature is close to 0 degrees Celsius (freezing point for the laws of physics) and will go below that point this week!

 Ok it's Greece, not Ecuador nor Sweden. However, we get up to 40 - 45 degrees C (105 - 115 F) in summer time and down to -15 or maybe -20 C (5 - -4 F) in winter time, but of course not in the entire country. I live in a big, beautiful, Greek island (I had to say how beautiful this island is) which, during winter, is drowned in humidity and beaten up by the winds. Therefore, the feeling of cold we get here, is like someone is sticking needles into your body which go so deep that when you move, it feels like they're poking your internal organs. Pretty nice description I gave there. Anyhow, at this time of the year and to be exact during the last few days, winter is beginning to show its teeth. That is because February is the coldest and toughest month of the year. Not to mention that the forever-alone-day (Valentine's day) happens to be a day of this particular month. Can't say that it feels like a coincidence. More to come about this not-so-much-forsaken-day when the time is right.
So yes, we're getting ready for the final cold days (doesn't matter if they'll last like 30 days or so) and after that.... oh the joy, oh the happiness, oh the bliss, oh the spring!

An opportunity

Remember when I told you I applied for a job opening in Brussels or Luxembourg for the European committee??? Probably not but anyway, it seems that I, my friends, am going to Athens in early March for a skills test for this position! It's not a big deal, it's the position in the secretarial field but hey, if I pass, I'll be working in Brussels or Luxembourg! Oh man I feel like a Bond girl. Apart from the fact that I might be having a paying job after 2 years of unemployment, I get to feel useful and productive again and not a burden to my family for some time  anyway. I'm so excited. And I will be so fucking disappointed when I will  not pass the stupid tests. Yes, that's me. My glass is half empty. But I'm still super excited!!

Fear factors

Sleep issues are on, family issues are on forever and ever til I die, the fitness is nowhere to be found, neither is a job. So....
Let me tell you what is the one thing that I'm really afraid of. Don't get me wrong, I get scared easily about a lot of stuff. If my family didn't know me, I bet they would think I'm 5 years old.
So the one thing that creeps me out.... The darkness. When I was a child, I was telling mum every night to leave a small light on so I can see (god knows what) before I fall asleep. I was such a sweet child. Nothing happened to me during a night or whatever and nobody has frightened me about it. I don't know why this is. And in winter time, things get tough. It's ok for me to walk on a summer night (after midnight) through the streets of my city, but it's difficult for me to walk especially alone in winter time. I guess it's the bad weather that makes it hard. You know, walking at 3 - 4 a.m, freezing cold, the wind blowing and making that hissing creepy sound... I'm a child of summer from birth, what can I do? Or maybe I've seen too many movies, who knows.

Other things that scare the hell out of me: heights(1), being closed up in very small places(2), cockroaches(3), velocity(4), snakes...

(1) When I'm on a building looking down, my head starts spinning and my first thought coming to mind: "fuck, if I somehow fall I'm so gonna fucking die"; strange as it may sound this does not apply in an airplane, probably because I like flying and I believe that if we fall, I'm gonna fly my way out of the disaster... I don't know how, as I'm pretty sure I'm not Peter Pan and I don't have Tinkerbell as my best buddy.

(2) Once when I was 10 or so I was stuck in an elevator, the light didn't go out but I kept screaming "help" banging the door with my hand; a little panic attack I may say; and I also cannot sleep if my head is under the blanket; need to breathe god damn it! You realize that death caused from suffocation is far from my favorite kind.

(3) These f**kers are still breathing after you chop their freaking heads off and banging them with a broom for 10 minutes.

(4) Well this is a love-hate situation. There are times where you're in your car, speeding, feeling so free, so fucking nice..... and then you realize that it takes just a small poke from the universe to fuck it all up and also remembering how two of your dearest friends were killed in a brutal car accident.

C'est la vie!

Months ago I found a website which seems to be one of "Europe's website". It's the European personnel selection office and as I understood job offers are posted there, concerning Europeans wanting to work on Brussels and Luxembourg mostly. SO..... of course I got super enthusiastic about it, I imagined myself in one of Europe's finest cities, going to my office by bus, reading my newspaper in my adorable, small but sunny apartment while drinking my morning coffee before I go to work, little birds outside my window tweeting, meeting my new neighbors and friends and guys and...... I don't know, maybe I'm part of a musical and I don't even know it.
So, after waking up I read through the website, saw that they're looking for different types of employees (temporary, permanent, trainees etc) and decided to give it a shot! I mean, why not? There's not much I'm doing now anyway... more like there's nothing I'm doing now, our country's situation is pretty fucked up for a couple of years and it keeps going that way until I don't know when and eventually I owe it to myself to give me a chance. How am I supposed to begin? No one is going to pull me from my couch, that's for sure.
I'm educated, have a bachelor's degree from the UK, have worked in my life for some time and I'm free of obligations! Ha-ha-ha. So yeah.... I applied for two positions already and I'm just imagining, you know...? So if they say NO, I would be more disappointed. Yup, that's me. Living the dream.

Hooray!

For my first comment! Not alone out there evidently! Girl, I would buy you a drink or two or more if we weren't separated by thousands of miles! I understand that this may be "blog policy", I comment on your blog often, you do the same and so our life goes on and we are happy because people notice us... But thanks anyway :)
I know though that I started this blog to be more of a personal thing. I was asking for a way to express my thoughts, which I find hard to do so occasionally and did not care if anyone would ever "visit" me. I wanted this for me only and I still do. But.... as I believe, no one wants to feel alone in this life and everyone has the need to be understood or heard from even just a person far away. We have that need to satisfy one of our deepest concerns. Does anyone understand me? Is there someone thinking the same way I do? And if there is, you can feel a little reassured that you're not alone... And if anyone listens, you can say that someone is paying attention and "cares"... Well, I have that need too. That's why I'm so happy about my first comment in over a month that I started this blog! Sounds a bit silly, I know.

I have two friends

...to whom I can depend on any time of the day, for everything. Every time I call, they will listen. Every time they call, I will listen too. They're funny, we are a very good match with each other (me with each one separately) and every time we meet, we're having a pretty good time. If I  have no money and they do, they'll be happy to lend me and so will I. They miss me, I miss them everyday. But something happened.
It's like I have doubts for everything I believed about them til now. I'm enthusiastic as a person and when I meet someone or something new I get excited. Neither of them are new to my life but I'm wondering if I was blind and deaf and numb all those years because of my great love for them. Or is it that we're just getting older and more mature and finally, fortunately or not, we get to see things how they really are and not through a pair of innocent younger eyes? I'm not sure what is happening. It seems that life is doing its part and I feel like I get to only watch.

Not following

What does one have to do to get heard in here? "In here" being the Internet...

The most known Michael

Goosebumps all over.....
One thing I have regretted for sure is not seeing the one and only live on stage....
It wasn't on my hand to do so as I was young but that doesn't make me feel any better. On 1996-1997 was his last worldwide tour, I was 14 years old.

Friday the 13th

It means nothing. Please people, I didn't even realize it yesterday until this morning. And I had a good day yesterday. Good sex, a drink, late dinner, good night's sleep.
It's a pity that some children are frightened with this and grow old having in their subconscious that this shit is real. Well, Good Morning!

Dreams and thoughts

Today, I managed to wake up at 11 a.m and getting 7 hours of sleep. What I did not manage, is having a good sleep. I keep seeing these weird, weird dreams, which is happening all of my life actually but as I grow older they become weirder and the worst is that I remember most of them. Some of them are really good, such as the one in which I was flying among really tall buildings in a big city (probably New York), I was doing loops in the air, and I was so so SO happy and excited and felt literally free cause this is one of my craziest dreams. Be able to fly. I even woke up that day excited! I know dreams are supposed to express your most personal thoughts and your subconscious. But the majority of the dreams I'm seeing are, as I already said, very weird. They usually involve people of my close environment or who are active in my life right now and family. I have seen many times strangers though, but I do not see a face.
From what I understand, I must be having some serious inhibitions consciously and unconsciously and I guess something must be done, right? My mind is working overtime, I am always thinking something, I jump from one thought to another because my thoughts are so messed up and cannot get them straight and therefore, even if I did talk to somebody, they wouldn't understand me. I mean literally, not like I'm so complex as a person and blah blah blah that nobody would  understand me. On the contrary, I'm very simple and logical. I haven't talked to anyone recently sharing my deepest thoughts. I'm sorry but most of them are idiots indeed and some of them just don't care. People have their own things to fix. So I think that everything I do not express by words, gets stuck in my head and becomes a dream. My every frustration, problem, joy, moment of laugh. How do I get through this?

A part of how life should be

Last night was a good night. A friend, a small, cozy, friendly bar, nice music but not loud, white wine and more than 3 hours of not small talk. This is what I want for me. To be able to talk with someone this way. Maybe sometime in the future it will be with a guy... HA-HA-HA.

Fail

F*ck. Yesterday I went to bed relatively early, 1 a.m. I set the alarm at 9 a.m. I woke up at 11.30 a.m. 20 minutes ago. Who am I kidding? It seems that 8 hours of sleep are but are not enough for my system. 8 hours are enough if I go to sleep at 4 o'clock in the morning but not enough if I go to sleep at midnight!
And let me tell you this, the fitness hasn't  come in yet. I might as well do nothing and wait for spring and summer.  It is the next thing that will cheer me up. F*ck.

Sleep issues

Well I always had one, or more. I really do love sleeping and I think it is one of life's pleasures. But it seems that it can also be one of my biggest and most tiring problems. As I love sleeping, I also like very much waking up early in the  morning and not missing one minute from a hopefully nice day. But I guess that's an advantage of having a job. Anyway, now that I'm out of work for a really long time, I have no reason for sleeping early at night, because I'm not tired, nor waking up early in the morning. And guess what is happening.... I end up sleeping at 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning because I can't get any sleep and wake up at noon. I set my alarm clock every-f*ckin-day and I turn it off when it goes off every-f*cking-time without remembering doing so when I finally wake up. I don't even hear it, it's like I hibernate for those hours and my mind commands every other organ not to come alive before noon or 11 at best. I can't stand this, I don't know what to do and it's getting very tiring. Maybe I should buy 5 alarm clocks? Or find a job as soon as possible so my mind and body can finally roll out? Or go to bed from 9 p.m maybe and see what happens? I'll probably die sleeping if I do this last one. Or, hey, maybe I should do all the above!

Family issues

You cannot choose your family, but you can choose your friends. And that is why, if you take out same-blood-connection and years of living together, you're probably gonna end up loving your friends more than your family. That's right, because you get to choose your friends. You get to choose the persons who are more compatible to your character and stick with them and that alone, gives you much power. You are able to control how your life is going to turn into in terms of personal relationships and you can maybe find happiness through a lot of experiences.
So why can't I choose my family? Don't get me wrong I love and worship my parents and my brother most of all, but there are sometimes when I feel I just don't fit, you know? They raised me very good, I had everything I needed as a child and many times even more than that. So did my brother and for him things were a little better because we have a 12 year gap between us and he was The Baby and suddenly I was the big sister before I became a teenager. Anyway I won't go into much detail about my family (maybe some day), but the point is this:

Do I feel I don't fit because we are not alike? (even though I am the female version of my father in character and I do have some elements from my mother too)
Do I feel I don't fit because we are not alike but the truth is we really are because they brought me to life and we have this stupid blood connection and what I see is just the future version of me which I don't like at all? (shit)
Am I that immature that I do not recognize the different problems that made them what they are today? (don't think so)
Should I care that much or should I just see what I need to do to settle my life first? (which is really really left behind)
Do parents in Greece have to literally kick out their children of their homes at the age of 18? (YES please) At least in every other "developed" country they do so and children over there turn out just fine.
Well I made up my mind for now; I love them more than anyone, I'm very happy I have them as parents, they are really very decent and good human beings, I would give my life for them but I have to first fix my life, settle with a job, a house, a man even. Live. I guess that is my real problem.
It's not them, it's that I don't have a life yet.

Right...

So many things were left unsaid, it's hard to let you go...
I know what it takes to move on, I know how it feels to lie...
Holding on to what I haven't got...

No I'm not

I didn't go out many times during Xmas but I had a long time to do so and I drunk a lot even when I was at home for the usual reasons. But when you do it everyday, you don't have the time to process what the f*ck you are doing and take it slowly cause you haven't been in a bar for 2 months now and you are not really the drinking type. So there is a possibility that I might feel like an alcoholic but this picture is my savior. It seems that I'm just a drunk after all , hooray!
Seriously, I 'm giving myself just a few more days and then the fitness comes in.

Part 2

Isn't it funny that the title of my last post, of the last year, was "To be continued" ? And I hadn't even planned that.
Anyway Happy New Year to all of us. I made no resolutions, but I caught myself wishing to friends and family that they could have money first and the rest, like health and love and peace, would follow. Usually, I used to wish for health above everything but you see 2 years of unemployment and misery can do bad things to you. Nothing really special happened these special days but I expected nothing more. Life goes on, none problem is solved, can't find a job, still living with my parents, not able to have a normal relationship and the list goes on. Give me strength.