Well it's only been 5 months...

I have no idea why I keep delaying or cancelling my posts. I mean, I was just going through the entire blog and it is not so moronic like I though it was. And it also seems to be doing me some good; maybe blogging is indeed cheaper than a therapist!
You know what else is cheaper than a therapist? The gym! (or the daily walk into nature by the seaside) So it's been 5 months since I first dragged my butt into the gym. The decision was made fairly easy, after thinking about it for a year or two. Or more, I can't really remember.
So everything was going great! Cardio every day, some light weight lifting to wake the muscles up and I immediately started feeling A LOT better! I still do. And although I lost about 6-7 kg until now, I lost a lot of cm around the waist, the hips, the thighs etc. and it actually looks like I lost more kg! Oh the joy and the happiness...
But at some point, close to now actually, I realized how much more I could have lost if I only stopped eating all the unnecessary food that I do. Let me explain.My diet is very close to the Mediterranean diet (I do live after all in a Mediterranean country), so it's all good. I rarely have something fried for example, I prefer grilled food with extra virgin olive oil on top of it,  I eat my vegetables with extra virgin olive oil on top of them, I eat fruit and a lot of fish (with extra virgin olive oil on top of them) especially now that it's almost summer time. I love meat and I honestly would rather eat pork every day than anything else, but I clearly don't. Overall, my diet is somehow balanced.
Except when it comes to sweets. GOD DAMN IT I LOVE MY SWEETS!
I normally avoid them for obvious reasons and I don't mind doing so. I don't miss the sweetness when I don't think about it. But when I do think about it for a day, maybe two... let's say I can eat every sweet thing I can find in front of me. If I was "allowed" to eat for example 2 big, white, chocolate bars, I would. If I could just lick the entire whipped-cream-and-cream-cheese-and-sugar bowl (that's the Tiramisu cream), trust me, I would. Easily.  Instead, I compromise with something less. Well, thank god! 
So, I've come to the conclusion that what I need is a bit more self restraint. Just enough to train my mind and body the basics for a good living. I think I can do that. There's no need for exaggerations that it's 1000% certain that I will regret later on, right? Right.

A new beginning

Old habits die hard. I mean really hard. Also, letting go is one of the most difficult conditions I have ever met in life. But why some of us are like that? Don't we like something different in our lives? Don't we want to see something more than what we already have in our comfort zone? Why don't we trust ourselves that we're going to manage "the different" just fine?
I can't throw away old shoes. Only when my foot got bigger when I was younger and  I let my mum do it with great sorrow in my heart.
I can't throw or give away easily old clothes which I love so much but just won't fit because I got fatter damn it! I punish myself by making me see them every day and maybe then I can make the freaking decision and lose a pound. At the end of the day, it won't work. Perfect.
I can't throw away pretty much anything of my stuff which I don't use anymore, or for some of them, I don't know they exist. Sometimes when I have nothing else to do, I open my drawers and have a what-the-fuck-is-all-this face. I immediately throw away whatever I find useless in there. It's very rejuvenating.
I used to bite my nails from whenever I had them. It was stress related but mostly it was a nasty old habit that I just could not stop. I stopped doing it 7-8 years ago but it lasted a year. I'm very very proud of myself that I haven't bitten them in a year again and this time is for real. I have beautiful hands and I own nail polish! Who would have known that I could do that.
I like food. I love it actually and this has caused me serious problems. It has become a habit for me eventually and it is very very very hard to stop it. Not stop eating but you know stop exaggerating. I do not need sugar in my life except from fruit. No sweets, no ice creams (ok maybe once or twice a month), no cakes or cupcakes! I probably do not need salt either. I do not need fried food or 2-3 slices of bread with my meal. And I need to exercise. I have to do it only a couple of times and then it will become my new habit. Which will be good for once. And since I can't afford the personal training gym, this is the next best thing. The beach is right under my house and that's about it. Just do it. Like Nike.

Along with....

The fact that I played ping-pong this afternoon and boy was it fun?! Very revitalizing and I can say that I'm getting good pretty quickly. Maybe I'll go again tomorrow for a game or two. And we had delicious crepes for dinner! Filled with different kinds of goodies....sausages, green peppers, bacon, red peppers, onions, orange peppers, melting cheese, ketchup.... Oh man I love food. And I had to fill in for the calories I lost playing. Right?