“I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism.”

Friday, January 13, 2012

Dreams and thoughts

Today, I managed to wake up at 11 a.m and getting 7 hours of sleep. What I did not manage, is having a good sleep. I keep seeing these weird, weird dreams, which is happening all of my life actually but as I grow older they become weirder and the worst is that I remember most of them. Some of them are really good, such as the one in which I was flying among really tall buildings in a big city (probably New York), I was doing loops in the air, and I was so so SO happy and excited and felt literally free cause this is one of my craziest dreams. Be able to fly. I even woke up that day excited! I know dreams are supposed to express your most personal thoughts and your subconscious. But the majority of the dreams I'm seeing are, as I already said, very weird. They usually involve people of my close environment or who are active in my life right now and family. I have seen many times strangers though, but I do not see a face.
From what I understand, I must be having some serious inhibitions consciously and unconsciously and I guess something must be done, right? My mind is working overtime, I am always thinking something, I jump from one thought to another because my thoughts are so messed up and cannot get them straight and therefore, even if I did talk to somebody, they wouldn't understand me. I mean literally, not like I'm so complex as a person and blah blah blah that nobody would  understand me. On the contrary, I'm very simple and logical. I haven't talked to anyone recently sharing my deepest thoughts. I'm sorry but most of them are idiots indeed and some of them just don't care. People have their own things to fix. So I think that everything I do not express by words, gets stuck in my head and becomes a dream. My every frustration, problem, joy, moment of laugh. How do I get through this?

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