“I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the highest potential of a man, rather than with the man himself, and I have hung on to the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism.”

Thursday, January 05, 2012

Family issues

You cannot choose your family, but you can choose your friends. And that is why, if you take out same-blood-connection and years of living together, you're probably gonna end up loving your friends more than your family. That's right, because you get to choose your friends. You get to choose the persons who are more compatible to your character and stick with them and that alone, gives you much power. You are able to control how your life is going to turn into in terms of personal relationships and you can maybe find happiness through a lot of experiences.
So why can't I choose my family? Don't get me wrong I love and worship my parents and my brother most of all, but there are sometimes when I feel I just don't fit, you know? They raised me very good, I had everything I needed as a child and many times even more than that. So did my brother and for him things were a little better because we have a 12 year gap between us and he was The Baby and suddenly I was the big sister before I became a teenager. Anyway I won't go into much detail about my family (maybe some day), but the point is this:

Do I feel I don't fit because we are not alike? (even though I am the female version of my father in character and I do have some elements from my mother too)
Do I feel I don't fit because we are not alike but the truth is we really are because they brought me to life and we have this stupid blood connection and what I see is just the future version of me which I don't like at all? (shit)
Am I that immature that I do not recognize the different problems that made them what they are today? (don't think so)
Should I care that much or should I just see what I need to do to settle my life first? (which is really really left behind)
Do parents in Greece have to literally kick out their children of their homes at the age of 18? (YES please) At least in every other "developed" country they do so and children over there turn out just fine.
Well I made up my mind for now; I love them more than anyone, I'm very happy I have them as parents, they are really very decent and good human beings, I would give my life for them but I have to first fix my life, settle with a job, a house, a man even. Live. I guess that is my real problem.
It's not them, it's that I don't have a life yet.

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